Yet Will I Trust

As I sit here and watch the fresh snow falling in the Seattle area, the term “new beginnings” stirs up memories that are not necessarily pleasant. I don’t know what the proper term is for this feeling but the snow takes me back to a very emotional time in my life.

I had picked up my son from his Middle School and we drove to Tiger Mountain Summit where it was snowing. I was feeling like a failure as a mother, asking the age- old question, “Where did I go wrong”? We sat there watching the snow fall and tried to figure out where to go from here. But in my mind, my life would never be “normal” again.

I hadn’t raised my son to be making the choices he was making. Living for and loving God were of the utmost importance to my husband and I and we just assumed our children would follow our footsteps. At this moment I wasn’t a fan of this “free choice” God gave His creation. I wanted to make my son serve my God.

I’m not here to share his journey with you, but mine. See, I was so furious-not with my son, although I was plenty angry with him, but I was furious with God. I didn’t deserve this. I had served God my entire life, trained my children up to love God, never missed a church service , attended DOZ prayer meetings and made sure we had family time at home. My son had the best Apostolic upbringing one could wish for. I didn’t deserve to have a rebellious son, God, how could you do this to me?

During this time I would go to the church, alone, and intercede for my son. It was in the middle of one of those prayer times that God spoke to me. “Vicki, if your son never serves Me will you still trust Me?” My victory came before my son ever made a move towards God. My victory and fresh beginning came that day when I surrendered one of my most prized possessions to the Lord. “Yes, Lord, if he never serve You, yet will I trust You”. ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus.

By Vicki Warren

Vicki’s husband pastors Renaissance Apostolic Church in Renton, WA where she is the minister of music. Vicki is also the Ladies Ministries President of the Washington District. They have three wonderful children.

[Shared from the Daughter’s of Zion April 2012 Newsletter]